by Dr Jonathan Marshall
http://marshall.com.sg

We all look forward to the holidays but they can be a tricky time. The anticipation of being with a happy family and enjoying freedom from work are wonderful. When those hopes are fulfilled, there can be the subsequent challenge of “post-vacation blues.” When they are disappointed, the impact can be significant.

How big is the problem?

Vacations and Christmas rank 41st and 42nd in a well-researched list of events that predictably give rise to stress-related illness in the USA. Presumably there would be similar findings for the main religious festivals in other countries. Some psychotherapists report this to be their busiest time of year. Lawyers have 3.6 times higher rates of depression than the normal population and the highest rate of suicide of any profession. They have a particularly hard fight against the blues.

Why isn’t this a merrier season?

A) The personal challenges

Many people return home to have family-time but don’t have happy families. Those who do enjoy being home may not be able to join them due to being overseas on secondment or at work. When they are able to join, they may compare themselves with the relative or friend who always seems so frustratingly fabulous. And those social media photos that are designed to evoke envy? Scrolling through them makes almost anyone depressed!

B) The work-related challenges

Then there is the challenge of taking time away from work. You might think, “but time away from work is good!” It is for many people. But many lawyers find it more stressful than being at work for a number reasons.

1. Lawyers may be so used to working hard that they don't know how not to work. The absence of work becomes stressful because they can’t, or don’t want to, unwind. As one client said, “there is no family problem so large that I can’t escape by diving into my work but that all changes when I am on holiday.”

2. There are legitimate work demands, e.g., the angry client who has to have work handled regardless of the holidays and may leave one feeling pulled between work and family. I’ve noticed the guilt can be particularly painful for mothers.

3. And there is the pernicious need to measure one’s worth in billable hours. “If I’m not billing…how am I of value?”

What can you do?

A) Assess if you may have the blues

One of the most valuable first steps is to realize if you have depressive symptoms. You can do that by taking an online test (e.g., this test takes less than 3 minutes and is fairly accurate) or going over the symptoms of depression. They can include:

· Trouble concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions

· Fatigue

· Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and helplessness

· Pessimism and hopelessness

· Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or sleeping too much

· Irritability

· Restlessness

· Loss of interest in things once pleasurable, including sex

· Overeating, or appetite loss

· Aches, pains, headaches, or cramps that won't go away

· Digestive problems that don't get better, even with treatment

· Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings

· Suicidal thoughts or attempts

B) What next?

If you recognize some mild symptoms, you may find some self-help useful. (Here is an article specifically on that topic for the general population.) For people in law firms, at this time of year, I emphasize a few things:

1. Alcohol. It may be tempting to join the family and friends in drinking heavily, or, if alone, drowning your sorrows. But alcohol is a depressant and one in five lawyers are “problem drinkers.”

2. Food. If it’s tempting at this time of year to over-drink, it’s super hard not to overeat and not reach for that third helping of Christmas pudding. The effect on your body and your self-esteem can be demoralizing.

3. Exercise. Especially if you’re traveling or have guests staying over, it may be hard to exercise. Yet, that is one of the easiest ways out of mild symptoms of the blues.

4. A helping hand. Connect to friends and people you trust. If you can, let them know what you are going through.

If your symptoms aren’t mild, do consider getting professional help. While psychotherapy used to be regarded as taboo, that has changed. Two years ago, a colleague set up psychotherapy services for his nation’s law society. Within a year, 70% of the trainees enrolled as clients. Employers of choice, e.g., Google, now have in-house psychotherapy services. Psychotherapy has recently become much more accepted.

Dr. Jonathan Marshall has been a psychotherapist to lawyers for 14 years and has an in-house practice at Linklaters, Singapore. He is also an executive coach and lectures on the psychology of leadership.

The Holiday Blues - Particularly Challenging for Lawyers